Tamoxifen is the devil. While I am grateful it is going to potentially keep the breast cancer at bay, this whole sweating thing has gotta stop. So not sexy. How am I going to go up to a dude and be all, “Hi, you’re cute, let’s hang out” when I’m schvitzing like a pudding at a picnic? And all night long in bed. Yeah, I’d totes hit that. *eyeroll*
Aaaand, I can’t sleep. Rad.
Do I really have to do this for the next 10 years? Curse you, ATLAS study!! *shakes fist*
So… I pretty much have to get off my lazy fat butt and go back to Bikram yoga and the gym tonight. My Groupon expires at the end of July, but I’m not allowed to exercise for FOUR FLIPPIN’ WEEKS after my surgery on June 4. If I want to have any kind of not-gross body, I better get off my ass and get my shit together. Starting tonight. Damn it.
Also, I’m pissed at myself for eating a leftover slice of pizza. Seriously?! WTF. I have no self control.
This weekend was exceptionally debaucherous for me. I drank to excess, gambled away all my cash, and ate an entire log of goat cheese in one sitting. Ah, Preakness, there’s nothing quite like it.
I did not, however, get a chance to talk to my crush. I was on the lookout for him but, alas, there was no joy in Mudville. Mighty Lindsay struck out. I had a total romcom moment involving him, though. I was sitting in the Jockey Club Sports Lounge with my dad and I turned at just the right moment. There he was standing in the doorway, talking to some guys who work there. Before I knew it, he turned and walked out of the lounge, so I jumped up out of my chair and hauled ass to catch him. But, the elevator doors closed before I could make it. Damn. I’m batshit nuts. What is wrong with me? I’m about to give this up because its almost been a month and I am striking out left and right.
I did go on a date last night, but not sure what to think yet. I think I need to unhitch my wagon from this star so that I can have a more open mind.
Or not date anyone until I get my new boobs in 2 weeks.
I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m readyyyy!! Here I come, Black Eyed Susan Day! Look out, Pimlico!
I seriously listened to the Rocky theme and Eye of the Tiger while I was getting ready this morning. Here’s to good times and mustering up the courage to talk to my crush today!!
Blank yeah! Tomorrow is Black Eyed Susan Day and Saturday is Preakness!! I sure hope I’ve gotten myself together by the time I get to the track tomorrow. It’s go time, balls to the wall, no excuses. I’ve got to smile prettily and say hello to *him*. I’ve waited three weeks for this moment. No backing out now. I may, however, need a mint julep or five in me before I do ;) Horseshoe necklace, please be my lucky charm!
I could kick my own ass right now.
What the hell is wrong with me?! I can face cancer head on, but I can’t muster up the courage to try and talk to the guy I have a crush on. Ugh. Lindsay. why!?
Let’s just hope that “slow and steady wins the race” holds true in this case. I’ve gotta grow a pair and up my game (which is currently nonexistent) by next Friday, Black Eyed Susan Day. It must be done or I will just live in “crush-from-the-sidelines-ville” instead of “hey-you’re-amazefest-let’s-hang-out-ville.”
Preakness 5K was a fun success. I cut up apples and bagels, prepared and filled up cups of Gatorade, and handed them out to runners.
I seriously have to stop being so awkward and nervous about this. FFS, I’m a flippin’ survivor. Why can’t I sack-up and talk to a super cute, funny, nice guy?
It’s my chemo-versary, y’all! Hard to believe that one year ago today, I was sitting in that chair, high as a kite on Benadryl, as pictured! This was my first infusion of TAC. Never again!!!
Man, I hate that thing where you like someone but you don’t know if they like you and you have no way of finding out. Stupid all around. Why must I be so awkward? I should have given him my number! All I want to do is see him again, and I have no clue when that might even be. What is wrong with me? I can’t stop thinking about him and it’s starting to border on creepy — and I don’t want to be creepy! I just don’t want to be all dressed up and pretty-fied on a Friday night trying to figure out what to do with myself.
Man, I wish I wasn’t single. I guess it’s back to Bride-Day on TLC for me.
At least there is Kentucky Derby goodness and horse back riding with my best friend tomorrow.
Until then, well, I guess I’ll just keep dreaming.
Pull it together, Lindz. *headdesk*